By Jenny Luedeke
“Boys! It’s time to evacuate.” Twice these words have flown from my lips. Traipsing not far behind, was an uncertainty of what’s to come, accompanied by intense focus, quick decisions, and rapid packing. God protected us!
The Rivers
Living near six different creeks and rivers, from the dribbling Calfskin Creek to the mighty Mississippi, has provided an abundance of opportunity: watching barges, collecting tadpoles, and helping my kids catch their first fish.
And…then…there’s also…FLOODING! Those same waters have showered me with other experiences, too. Like the day my neighbor literally threw her kids and a diaper bag at my door as she dashed off to save everything she could from her basement. I’ve stacked sandbags to tame the Red River in an effort to shelter many homes. We’ve eaten our rotisserie chicken lunch in a gas station because we couldn’t get home. My family has been evacuated as a precaution twice and I have had friends rescued by boat as they watched their home fill with water. As with most things the bad accompanies the good.
The intriguing part is that the flooding wasn’t due to the rain that fell in my yard. It was the heavy rain from upstream, coupled with our local rainfall. Don’t get me wrong. The flood was still very real.
The Homeschool River
Homeschooling is a bit like living near a river. There are many blessings and also potential disasters. You get to know your kids so much better than if they were gone all day; utilize flexible schedules for classes, field trips, vacations and other life stuff; and adapt your curriculum, daily schedule, extracurriculars in whatever ways work best for your family. On the flipside, it’s not always so pretty. Almost like getting stuck in a flood.
Most often the atmosphere of the homeschool house comes from mom. I’m going to venture to say that most floods are not actually coming from the storm of mom. Mom may be having a gentle rain of life of her own that she could easily handle. But upstream? What is happening with her husband, her children, her friends, the neighbors? Those waters can team up and turn her gentle rain into a raging, threatening flood, roaring to destroy her and everyone she loves.
What am I talking about? Well… Is someone facing depression? Learning disabilities? Poor self-worth? Physical or mental concerns? The effects of someone else’s sin? I would venture to guess…yes. And then pile a few of those on top of each other along with the daily strain of running a homeschooling house and it won’t take long before the water begins to rise. Sometimes the dam even breaks and you get slammed with all of those in a very short period of time. Last year, in less than two months, our family: evacuated; bought a new house and moved; celebrated 2 birthdays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas; had company twice; joined a new church; faced some difficult personal struggles; and washer/dryer issues which led me to the laundromat. Throw in schooling, restricted diets, meals and laundry for nine and I was pregnant through it all! FLOOD! Getting slammed by unexpected waters is not fun!
What to do?!!!!
Get to dry ground as fast as you can! It is a well-known fact that you should never enter into flood waters! If your feet slip in the mud, or worse yet, you get swept away, you cannot help anyone else. Get to dry ground now!
There is a lot to say about standing on a firm foundation. Not only is this true literally, but also emotionally and spiritually. It may be difficult to see how to get to dry ground when in the flood. The following are a few things I have found that help me to stand firm.
In Isaiah 43:2, God says he won’t leave you to drown, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.” The first step to dry ground is getting into the Word of God. I’m not talking about reading a book about the Word of God, but truly into the Word. Many times I have found myself not knowing where to open that Book. When I don’t know where to start, I turn to the Psalms. David, the author, had plenty of storms in his life and most of them weren’t his fault. He was submitting to the will of God and he was being pursued for his life! I often feel just like that. His prayers of lament are fitting and his praises of a faithful God are also fitting! Psalm 94:22 says, “But the LORD has been my stronghold, And my God the rock of my refuge.” Psalm 34 is a new favorite of mine. Also, don’t just read the Word, but fill your house with it. Post your favorite verses around your house and turn on your favorite praise music.
Secondly, take care of yourself! Don’t panic…we have all been told this at some point by people who see you struggling but don’t really want to help so they throw those four nasty words at you. This is not what I am saying here. Honestly, you need to take care of yourself because the homeschool family hinges on mom in almost every situation.
What is your magical combination? I’ll tell you mine. Sleep, exercise, water and my supplements! Also, being in the Word and biblically grounded friends. I have found, however, that the Word has a harder time get through if I’m not getting sleep, exercise, water and my vitamins.
You may have to be creative. It may be a science video for the older ones so you can sleep while the baby is sleeping. Buy yourself a mom-only super cute cup with lid and straw. It may be running the stairs when it’s too cold to walk. It may be joining a Christian co-op to bring you in contact with people who can encourage you in Truth. Even if you can improve just one or two things…everyone in the home will benefit.
Third, don’t be afraid to work on a team. Sandbagging by yourself against a raging river is impossible. Many people need to work together in order to keep it from destroying what is valuable. Maybe you need prayer warriors, an elderly neighbor lady to watch the 3-year-old, a specialist, a house cleaning swap! Start putting together your team to sandbag around the ones you love.
Fourth, know when to evacuate! Evacuation may sound extreme, but it doesn’t have to be; it may be as easy as deciding to close the math book for the day. It may be a little more drastic; you may need to take a furlough from a long-time commitment or relationship, like a co-op or a friendship that is draining you. Just because you evacuate doesn’t mean you can’t come back. That brief break may keep you and your family from being completely swept away.
Bless them; not stress them. Many times, while my kids are trying to wade out of their own flood waters of life, I end up dumping buckets of water on their heads with my words and actions. Instead, I need to be standing on solid ground and either sandbag better or offer a hand. Maybe buy a joke book just for mom to lighten the mood. Hand out extra hugs and little tickles. Use chocolate chips for math counters. Have a mini-marathon around the outside of the house. Ditch the entire schedule for the day, move the couch to the front porch, snuggle up in blankets and read Little House on the Prairie for hours! Smile! Together, memorize the posted Bible verses you just put up all over your house! Do little things to bless their day.
Over the past few months, while I have been contemplating this post, I have adopted this “Not Your Storm” mindset when drudging out of my flood. It has made it so much easier to see that my kids have their own struggles and that they aren’t doing those things to intentionally hurt me. They need some sandbags, something to guide their waters, and someone to grab their hands to pull them to solid ground. Life is so much better when everyone is standing firm or at least wading in the calmer shallows.
When you are grounded, you can easily see what is your personal storm, what is someone else’s storm, where you need to sandbag and when to shout, “Evacuate!”
Jenny Luedeke is a broken, redeemed, warrior princess of the King of Kings. She homeschools eight boys, ages 9 months-16 years old. By the grace of God, she and her husband organized the first and so far the only Lutheran (LCMS) homeschool conference in 2012; began and coordinated GO! Homeschool Group from 2010-2017; and is currently creating the children’s curriculum for the 2020 TPA/KSHE Faith Builder’s Academy program.
Kansas Home Educators 